Not for the faint of heart...

Don't watch this if you're squeamish. I have some martial arts friends who wanted to see it. It shows that you can always find someone to volunteer for just about anything. We do NOT do that sort of thing at my dojo. I just want to say that up front.

Week 4 Weigh In

Weight: 184.8 lbs.

Exercise log:
I've increased it, and the scale shows it. In addition to my Tues/Thurs intermediate level classes, I'm now taking the Mon/Wed advanced classes in preparation for my red belt test in September. Of course, I'm back to feeling exhaustion in my legs! I started drinking the protein water mix after workouts, and it helps. So does getting enough rest.

We've added in stick fighting routines during our karate training. It is something the black belts picked up in their seminars at the ITC (International Training Convention). The stick fighting drills have been awesome for my arms. I'm loving it. (Plus, there's the practical aspect of being able to pick up something in your environment resembling a stick that you can use to readily defend yourself with.) The bad part is that the disarming techniques frequently smash the sticks into your feet. (The guys teaching the seminars were wearing shoes, which we don't do at the dojo.) I may start wearing my Ringstars on the mat when I know we're doing stick fighting drills.

Food log:
I have been watching my portion sizes. I have been quite conscious of sugar intake...or lack thereof. The only sugar I had was a slice of cake at my dad's 70th birthday party. I didn't even drink a drop of alcohol! I'm very proud of myself. I do need to start tracking again because once school starts again - I'm a teacher - it will be very, very easy to slip back into bad eating habits.

Emotional junk:
I'm going to start adding that here each week just to reflect on things on a weekly basis related to weight loss and fitness and my journey. I have a completely separate blog that serves as a journal for personal reflections. Most of my gut-spilling will be in that one.

I'll start with the fact that I'm happy I can see where my waist is supposed to be. It makes me proud to have lost over 20 lbs in the past year. However, when I start to compare myself to other women at the dojo, which I frequently do, I start to get very depressed. I am competitive by nature, and once I came out of the fog and started to take a serious interest in getting healthy again, I started getting competitive again. I have really got to focus more on my own goals and not so much on how other people look. I've come a long way in one year.

Chuck Norris Fact You Didn't Know

Chuck shaved his beard. He said it was so he and Gina (his wife) could take the kids to Disney and not be recognized. He said it worked. By the time people thought they knew who he was, the family had already moved on to other rides!

I'm glad he got to take Dakota and Danni around Disney, but this throws a little wrench in things for us around the Dojo. My husband has earned the Norris Cup for the 3rd consecutive year. I'm not sure anyone's ever done that before...maybe so. But, he is the first male to ever win both the Kata (forms) and Sparring (fighting) Norris Cups in the same year. He also won "2009 Competitor of the Year". He got his photo taken with Mr. Norris.

Problem is, Tommy's granny is getting really old. She really, really likes Walker (Texas Ranger.) She wants to see Tommy with Walker. Now I have to PhotoShop a beard on the Grand Master of our style because (I'm sorry, I hope lightning doesn't strike me dead) Mr. Norris does not look like Mr. Norris without his beard.

Week 4 Weekly Challenge

I already have been setting goals. It comes readily for martial artists here in America. We are the ones that broke the black belt down into colored ranks. They didn't have that in Asia. My problem is setting too many or not setting realistic ones. So, I have to constantly assess and reassess where I am with my short-term goals.

My short-term goals on July 1 were:
(1) pass my July 14 belt test
(2) nail my performance in front of Chuck Norris in Las Vegas...that's only a couple of weeks away (yikes!)

I successfully completed both of those...minus the Chuck Norris part. He showed up two days later. It was in front of Aaron Norris, the President of our organization.

Here are my long-term goals and my new short-term goals:
Long Term
(1) WW Lifetime Membership....maintaining a healthy weight and BMI; (not having to pay the monthly fees anymore!)
(2) Black Belt in Chun Kuk Do; (photo with Chuck and Aaron Norris at the Convention)

Short Term
1) Regular attendance in the advanced karate class; (being in the advanced class will better prepare me for passing the red belt test because they're getting ready for their black belt tests and the material is so similar...it'll be hard core!)
2) Red belt; (I look better in red and I'll be able to fight a certain someone at next year's convention if I'm a red belt...I want her head on a platter.)
3) Regular attendance in WholyFit; (WholyFit makes my whole body feel better and really helps my kicks and stances in karate class)
4) Regular Church attendance...no copping out or sleeping in on Sundays!!!; (I need to connect spiritually, and I figure you got to fake it til you make it; the only reward for this is peace of mind.)
5) Portion control and tracking points; (the reward is on the scale)

Rewards
The rewards for reaching the goals are intrinsic (because I'm pretty freaking poor right now.) But, I can write them down and reflect on them. If I celebrate them in some way, it will be to watch a movie on XBox Live or to read a book. Honestly, just getting out of the house to go to a Bible study without the kids can be a mini-reward.

Vegas Trip Update

Things are going well. Our students did so well yesterday. I think every single one of them placed in something yesterday. Raul, Lance, Carl, and Tommy all got first places in their divisions. I think Cole might have too, but I'm not sure. Carl, Lance, and Tommy all competed for grand champion in adults, kids, and seniors respectively. (Tommy got to choose whether to compete in weapons or forms because he got first place in both of those divisions.) Tommy is a third-time Norris Cup recipient!

We're really concerned about DaMarkus. He reopened his knife wound during the demo. He was in a great deal of pain. The EMT looked him over and took a detailed report. She counseled him on going to the trauma room at the hospital. But, he didn't go. He stayed at the hotel last night. He said he'd go this morning if his hand wasn't feeling any better. I'm planning on checking on him around lunch time.

Tonight is the banquet. The fun part is the dance afterward. I'm just looking forward to dressing up. At least I'll finally get a chance to eat good food.

Week 3 Weigh In

Weight: 187 lbs.

Exercise log:
I cut back a bit last week because of the test and the competition. All I did was prepare for the test and for the demo. I passed my test. (This was my first belt test in 16 years.) We did a great job on the demo yesterday evening, but didn't win first place. The first place demo is the one that gets to perform in front of Chuck Norris on Sunday. That group was incredible, just beautiful. It was actually pretty, like ballet.

I'll be coming back with some sort of knee injury. I'm icing it right now. There's pressure and popping, but not a lot of pain.

Food log:
I wasn't able to eat "clean", but I kept within my WW points every single day. I splurged yesterday after the first day of competition. (My husband won his third consecutive World Championship Norris Cup in Kata, so we went out for drinks.) So, I pretty much blew my weekly point allotments. I saved them for this weekend.

Test Tomorrow

I am testing tomorrow for a new belt rank. This'll be my first test in 16 years. I will be testing under a different instructor than my usual one. (My husband is the head instructor at the school.) We agreed for several reasons that it would be best to have Carl, his second-in-command, be my instructor of record. Mostly because I'm hard-headed and have a very difficult time learning from Tommy.

Tommy is an excellent teacher. I have a mental block and for some reason can't seem to get along with him very well when he is in the role of a teacher. So, if I work very hard over the next two years, I should be Carl's first student to earn the rank of black belt.

For now, I'd just really like to pass the test tomorrow!!! My endurance has improved, but even still, they save the actually sparring for the end of the test. That's when you're the most tired. This is what gives me some shin splints. I'll need to ice my shins when I reach the hotel in Vegas. I don't want to be in a lot of pain for our competition on Friday.

Meltdown

I have to come clean about something. I have a mild form of dissociative disorder. It's a survival mechanism from childhood. I'm pretty good at it. As I gained weight, I didn't really notice it. Not that it has anything to do with the disorder, but when I was pregnant with my second child and 247 lbs, diabetic, and on insulin, it mattered. I was clinically aware that I had a weight problem. I knew I needed to protect the baby and myself. I did what was medically necessary and lost weight, following doctor's orders and taking multiple insulin shots daily. Constantly checking my blood sugar actually helped me stay in touch with the reality of what food did to my body.

But, I never really looked in the mirror or had any photos taken of me. There were a few, but somehow, I just didn't see them. I chose not to see them.

In April, when I started back at WW and made that commitement to really do it this time, really get healthy, I still didn't really take a look at myself. I just wouldn't. I was 203 lbs. By the time I started Amy's 15 week challenge, I was 189 lbs. I was feeling better, and my clothes were baggy.

I still didn't look in the mirror or look at photos. Then came the parade last weekend.

Photos were taken.

The outfits we wore were not flattering to my body type.

I am in charge of the website.

I saw the photos.

For the first time in probably 10 years, I really saw what I had done to myself. Not all the hard work I'd put in the last few months. Not what I'd accomplished the past few weeks. I saw what I'd done to myself over the past decade. A decade of neglect. A decade of abusing food and putting everything else in my life first except for my own basic, physical and spiritual needs.

I had a meltdown.

I lost it.

I really cursed a lot.

Then my husband got extremely mad at me. He says that I often choose to see the negatives. I need to reframe things and force my brain to see the positives. He says that he's been getting a lot of comments from people around the dojo (karate school) about how much improvement they've seen in my skills, and people have been noticing that I've been losing weight. He says that even I commented that Chris, a 12 year old on our demo team, had noticed I had lost weight. And how often does a 12 year old boy just out of the blue complement a 38 year old lady on losing weight?

Sometimes my husband is way smarter than me and gives me the kick in the pants I need.

Week 2 Weigh In

Weight: 188.9 lbs

Exercise log: Still doing well. I cut back a tad and only worked out Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday. I didn't work out Thursday because I went to the Chiro. I had three trouble spots along the right side. This was my first adjustment in over a year, and I went to a new chiropractor. Ouch! I was really sore. My body was so used to being out of whack that it really doesn't like where things have been moved to.

Thursday and yesterday were spent alternating between Ibuprophen (sp?) and ice. I feel old.

Food log: I didn't track. Shame, shame. I always do better when I track. I had one bout of carb binging on Wednesday. (I have a watch with 5 alarms on it to remind me when to eat, I need to start wearing it again; I binge when I forget my regular meals and let myself get too hungry.)

B-Day Report

It was my birthday yesterday. I spent the past couple of weeks being pretty grouchy, so I felt pretty lousy when I turned down an evening out with my husband and no kids. I changed my mind and told him I'd go out. We went to the next town over that has a theater/bar/restaurant type complex. I got myself an iced latte, small popcorn and bottled water. He had some sort of triple chocolate mousse-like substance, a hot dog, and Coke. They didn't give him a fork or a spoon. Nice country boy he is, he brought his own knife. He chowed down using his well-sharpened, well-polished pocket knife.

We saw The Proposal. Cute movie. He was a little embarrassed to be seen walking into the movie, but he really enjoyed it...he admits it. He said, "Ryan Reynolds is funny, and Sandra Bullock is extremely talented." I find that truly hysterical for some reason. He was practically drooling all over himself when he saw her in the scene when she has to find a towell. He loves brunettes.

At least I didn't do what I did on our last date night. I actually spat lemonade out on four people in front of us. I am completely horrified. We saw The Hangover. Something struck me funny. I had a mouth full of lemonade, and I totally couldn't help it. I feel so completely terrible about it.

Anyhow, I'm on my way to WW. I'll be back with my official weigh-in.

Amy's Weekly Workout Challenge - Week 2

Sorry, I'm begging off this week. We love the workout, and my husband is using it with his women's kickboxing class as part of the circuit training. I'll definitely use it when I get back from our competition in Vegas.

I just can't afford to do anything that might jeopardize the competition this close to the trip. (I will be too sore to do the practices if I do this.) I have practices tonight, tomorrow, Monday and Tuesday. We leave on Wednesday. I believe that we perform/compete in front of Chuck Norris on Friday afternoon. I'll be back on the 20th.

I'll go to WW tomorrow and post my weekly weigh-in.

Week 1 Weigh In

Weight: 189.4 lbs.
(I'm retaining a little extra water this week. I'm not beating myself up about it. I expect this to happen about once every 4-5 weeks.)

Exercise log:
I did great on the exercise...every single day I've been in town. (Tuesday through today.) I have shin splints, though. Really painful. I finished the parade, and I'm having a hard time walking. The shins actually started hurting last night after a two-hour power session practicing for our karate demo. So I guess the parade aggravated things. (Plus it was 100 degrees by the time our group pulled back into the starting/finishing point...yuck.)

Food log:
I didn't track this week. I was on vacation and then was super busy the minute we got back in town. My goal this week it to track, track, track. I did really great while visiting my parents. I ate tiny meals five times a day, mostly vegetables. Almost no carbs. Lean meats. I was so proud of myself. I'm usually so stressed out when I'm with my family that I eat like a pregnant mountain gorilla...which is why I used to look like one!

Week 1 Recipe Re-Write Challenge

It's a long one, and I haven't taken any photos because I don't have time to make it until after the 4th of July parade. We're marching in the darned thing, and we have to practice again before the parade Saturday morning. So, we'll be grilling Saturday evening and then shooting off fireworks over the lake. (Since we have drought conditions we have to shoot off the fireworks over the lake so we don't start grassfires.)

Anyhow, the challenge was to take a sinful dish and to rework it into something a healthier...

Our favorite celebratory meal is at a local Mexican restaurant just down the road called Rancheros. Tommy and I like to share the Parrilla Poblana, which is a type of fajita dish. We’re native Texans, and we like beef. So, we usually get the beef. So, this dish is totally loaded with fat and swimming in butter, not to mention the lard from the flour tortillas.

Parrilla Poblana: a traditional mix of beef, chicken or pork fajita, served with poblano pepper, onions and bacon grilled to perfection, served with guacamole, pico de gallo, borracho beans and tortillas

Disclaimer – I don’t cook. So, I am making this as simple as possible so I can’t mess it up. I will probably have my husband, who does all our cooking, in the kitchen with me so I don’t blow it. I'll post photos later to make it as Brandi-proof (dummy-proof) as possible too.

So here’s my attempt at making it better.

Step 1: First you have to marinate the chicken.
Ingredients:
2 lbs of thawed chicken breast strips, 2 cups of Tequila, 2 Tbsp of salt, 1 Tbsp of chili powder, 1 tsp of pepper, 1/4 cup of lime juice, 3 cups of water, 1 Ziploc baggie
Directions:
Put the chicken in the Ziploc. Mix the liquids with the spices. Add them to the Ziploc. Seal the bag and make sure the chicken is covered by the marinade. Let the chicken marinate in the fridge for 3 hours.

Step 2: Make the pico de gallo.
Ingredients:
1 med onion
3 tomatoes
2 Tbsp lime juice
Cilantro leaves
1-2 jalapeños, sliced

Directions:
Chop the onion, tomatoes, and jalapeños. Mix gently. Add lime juice. Mix in cilantro leaves. Store in the fridge. Some will be used inside the fajitas, and some will be used as garnish atop the black bean soup.

Step 3: Make the fajitas.
Ingredients:
The marinated chicken, 3-4 poblano peppers sliced lengthwise, turkey bacon, 2 medium onions cut into long strips, Pam cooking spray, and set aside the following (½ can Progresso black bean soup, Dozen low carb whole grain tortillas, and the pico de gallo)

Directions:
Grill the chicken outside on the grill. A Texan will tell you a gas grill doesn’t make authentic fajitas. But, in a pinch, it’ll do. We prefer Mesquite pieces in our BBQ pit. You can even grill it on top of your stove. Sautee the poblano peppers, turkey bacon and some onions with a little Pam.

Step 4: Finishing touches.
Top with Weight Watchers Monterrey jack cheese, plain yogurt instead of sour cream, and pico de gallo instead of guacamole. Serve with the black bean soup. Top the soup with a little pico de gallo.

Wednesday Workout Challenge #1

Amy posted her first Wednesday Workout challenge. It was all about abs. I got through it in one piece. Tommy coached me through it with his nasty little stopwatch. He said he'll try it out with his women's kickboxing class on Friday. I'm going to keep using it every other day. He's got a couple of other sets to throw in to work the lower abs - I had a C-section with Danni, and really have got to tone the saggy pooch. Before you go knocking him, it was totally by my request. He never says a word about it to me. He is very supportive.

I have two short term goals:
(1) pass my July 14 belt test
(2) nail my performance in front of Chuck Norris in Las Vegas...that's only a couple of weeks away (yikes!)

I tend to focus on goals like that instead of losing a certain amount of weight or fitting into a certain dress. And, because money is so very tight right now, I've been sewing up all my fat clothes and just crossing out the 18s with a Sharpie and writing 14s on them!

Pretty Plus-Size Swimwear: Where to Buy

Pretty Plus-Size Swimwear: Where to Buy

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