Week 5 Weigh In

Weight: 183.8 lbs.
I am exactly .6 lbs away from my 10% weight loss goal of 20 lbs. This really pisses me off. I am angry with myself because I know that the .6 lbs would have been gone this week, but I am the only one to blame. There are no excuses written below. I have included direct cause/effect relationships because I need to see in writing that the decisions I make directly impact the outcome I see on the scale. And like the Anti-Jared has pointed out, the scale don't lie.

Exercise log:
I week 4 I saw a significant weight loss because I increased my activity. I lost less this week because I decreased my activity. I could blame this on the fact that I fractured my foot. (A week ago this past Wednesday I rolled my foot over my big toe, producing a satisfying crunching sound...had it been a piece of peanut brittle.) But, I ponied up and buddy taped the big toe and donned a pair of Ring Star mat shoes for the workout class. I went through the Monday/Wednesday/Friday class and iced my foot on Tuesday/Thursday. I figured if I was going to ignore the doctor, I should at least ice my foot in between.

The decrease in activity meant I should have decreased the caloric intake. I made a mental note of this...and now we come to the food log.

Food log:
I slipped all cozy-like into my old eating patterns. Since I was at home two extra days not working out, I grazed. What the f- was I thinking! I wasn't. I went into this zombie-like fugue state and just grazed. Here's a little gem for you: If you're going to act like a cow, you're going to look like a cow.

I made some good food choices in there too. When I made nachos, I piled lots of baby spinach leaves on them. I skipped sour cream (which I can't stand) and went extremely light on the cheese (which I can't digest anyway). I mixed black beans, Rotel tomatoes and jalapeños. So, my first meal with the nachos was meatless and pretty healthy.

Then my husband says, "hey, I like the black beans too." So, here comes my mistake. I take his mix which has hamburger meat, tomatoes, and jalapeños and mix it with mine. I just made mine unhealthy. So, the following day I ate unhealthy leftover nachos...and I grazed on them for two more meals.

Emotional junk: See Weight above.
I have noticed that I eat more when I have pent-up, unresolved anger. There has been someone hanging around the Dojo lately who no one wants around. Well, one person wants her around. But, nobody else does. The problem is that we all care very much about the guy. We just don't like the person he becomes when he is around her. He is a completely different human being. We can't stand the girl. No one wants to tell him. Everyone is afraid they'll lose the guy as a friend, as a brother, as a son. They are letting this spoiled, conceited, bossy, beeyotch make him and everyone around him miserable.

I usually tell someone exactly what I'm thinking. Not this time. The guy is my instructor. (My husband is not my instructor because we do not want to give anyone within our organization a reason to say he promoted me because I'm his wife.)

So, unresolved anger. What do I do? Next week I'll be starting grappling. I'm really going to have to tape the H3*% out of my fractured foot, but I'm thinking that grappling will help release a lot of the tension. I need to do a lot of that before sparring.

I also need to work on my control when I spar in class. I have never had a "gear shift." Back when I was training in the early years, I was called "Nasty Anderson" because I was basically a unidirectional fighter...I only fought moving forward. I took all the punches and kicks thrown at me and kept going forward, delivering as many of my own as possible as hard as I could. It is how my husband knocked me out with a spinning heel kick back when we were just dating.